an open space

Broken Social Scene "Cause Time"

october 16

I feel profoundly sad.

"A joyful heart is a normal result of a heart burning with love. Joy is strength." (mother teresa)

My body aches tonight. Maybe it's just that I haven't slept, or eaten too much. But after a year of being so incredibly lonely, somedays I feel lonelier still, in rooms full of people who know my name and have a sincere interest in the events of my day and the feelings in my heart. My arms feel heavy. Like Stephen from Science of Sleep who used to throw up on himself in the middle of the night, because his hands just became too heavy to lift.

We live with some sort of illusion that everything is too much, and we need to forget things. Our burdens are so great and so heavy that we need to self-lobotomize. It's a Dave Eggers quote. It made sense when he wrote it.

I'm not sure what's wrong with me. My favorite part in Darjeeling Limited was when the Indian woman looked at Jason Schwartzman through the window on the train, "What's wrong with you?"

"Let me think about that."



I wish I was Joanna Newsom.