an open space

Emily Haines "Telethon"

november 12

It's been a weird week. Has not been the best.

I'm in the maclab making templates, hiding in my headphones, listening to Emily Haines on hype machine. She's really sad.

Have you heard of Sark? I just remember Alane telling me once a couple years back about Sabrina Ward Harrison always quoting her, and her art journals being ugly and boxy and full of bright colors, writing about how depressed and empty she felt, always followed with all the ways she would try and cheer herself up.

"Fill your journal with inspiration and rage and tears and boredom and chaos and random pieces that happened to float past while you dreamed on that moonlit night." {Sark}

Things are not so bad.
Things will get better.
When I count them up, so many good things outnumber the bad.
So many positive affirmations outweigh the disappointments.
Yet somedays, I still need commending.
Here are a few things that cheer me up:

♥ Making art on the floor, listening to audiobooks
♥ Seeing my breath when its cold, standing outside CTC, trying to blow it in rings with Jacob
♥ Brian dropping everything when I call to say I've had a bad day, picking me up right then and there to buy me ice cream
♥ phone calls from Alane and Ryan and Nikki and Janelle, which I get often
♥ Discussing art with Peter and Aaron, pretentious and laughing
♥ TW with Phil, Whitman library, fridays - Phil! my car does not smell "sexy" when it smells like tortas
♥ Midnight and full moon at the park with Larry, laughing hysterically at everything wrong in our lives
♥ falling asleep to old podcasts of "This American Life"
♥ reading Michael Chabon, and essays from BANR inbetween classes
♥ the beauty of short film! "the hire" and clive owen
♥ everything that inspires me. everyone i care about and who betters me.