this is for emily wilkens, click it em
the unbeliever
Sometimes I feel irritated when friends say things like: Happiness is a choice. Or, everything happens for some profound reason. Because I don’t think we are solely products of our experiences, or ruled by the mystification of fate. Nor do I think that I am gluttonous, or unsatisfiable, and I do think that contentment is highly circumstantial.
Now I wouldn’t say that I am in anyway, currently discontent. Although often times, I will wake in the morning and feel that there were definitely times in my life when things felt a lot closer to ideal. Sometimes I feel quite old, to still walk down the hall of familiar faces, generally disinterested in anyone of the male persuasion. Or my arms will feel heavy as I pick up my books for another class that doesn’t feel my tuitions worth of relevancy. And in those moments, I feel discouraged. Because I want to wake with purpose and zeal, and instead, I walk through the day, smiling at little things. At the warmth of children, the thoughtfulness of my friends, the kindness of strangers, and the uncultivated beauty of the wild flowers that grow in the next lawn. In school, your teachers tell you: “Every good story has a conflict, climax, and resolution.” And I’m here, somewhere in the middle of it, in a place where the reader might just want to set the book down. Because its moving, but slowly. Very slowly.
3 comments:
i skip parts of books all the time. sometimes some authors get so darn boring. and i'm not comparing your life to that...although that's just what it sounded like....
my point is, that if the author would just throw a bit of the unexpected amidst the long strings of sweet adjectives, I would have the strength to keep going. let's say someone is describing a beautiful garden. they spend 5 paragraphs describing the flowers and the colors and the sounds. BORING. But let's say that then, out of nowhere, a old man goes streaking through the park. Everyone in the park is astonished and laughing and shocked.
Let's spark your life back up this weeekend Treeena. No naked men. But maybe something unexpected.
You are great, I'm daily glad you're my roommate. Love Emily
happiness is not a choice, at least not an uncomplicated one. ;)
hang in there Trina, life is never as tidy or as organized as a comfy book. conflict can build slowly and climax often surprises. you'll be there again. and it will bring you to a new place in your life: not always, but sometimes a better one.
jacob
Trina! You have such a way with words, I love it. Your blogs and articles are always so fun to read cause you really know how to spice them up.
Every book has it's slow points but when you least expect it a man streaks through the garden... keep looking up :)
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