an open space

small talk
I'm not busy enough.
I'm not tired enough.
I have too much time to sit around and smile and cry, laugh, breathe, think.
I want there to be no room left in my heart,
brimming with passion and worries, appointments and obligations.
I want to be exhausted.

It's quite known that I'm a bit unconventional.
I don't think I expend much effort to be this way, and can't help it.
"Trina is quite serious and consumed by her studies."
"Trina is getting married, and has stability in her high paying job."
"Trina is paying the mortgage on her house, with a perfectly tended garden, and a pretentious cat."
Do these things sound like me?
They could. But maybe not.

When my family speaks through the grapevine about me.
To my grandparents, or to strangers sitting across from them on the plane. How about this for small talk?
"Trina, just opened an orphanage in Myanmar, and loves what she does with all of her heart."
"Trina moved to South America on a whim."
"Trina wants to better the world in many ways, and I think she can, and she will."
"Trina goes her own way, and we are proud."