plan a, b, or c

When I'm in a horrible mood, the things that sound like good ideas differ a lot from what would on a normal day.

Lighting things on fire.
Eating lots of things my stomach will regret.
Napping through my classes.
Using my non-existent savings to buy a one way ticket to Amsterdam.

I remember once feeling crappy for a reason that was far from worth it, and calling my friend Scott, wailing on the phone, "Can we just blow some things up?"

We only had an hour before I had to politely smile at a dinner party later that night, which was not enough time to build the elaborate bomb I had hoped. So he dropped everything, and picked me up, just him and a baseball bat and golf club in the trunk of his Subaru. We went to Walmart and just grabbed everything like mad men off the shelves: vegetables, pop cans, melons, and the biggest and messiest fruits we could find. Then we drove out to an empty field, where we proceeded to smash the shit out of everything.

I arrived a few minutes past the hour to my polite dinner obligation, my legs and face splattered in fruit and vegetables, whip cream, and sticky soda syrup.

Everyone gave us strange looks and asked questions, but we never said a word.