20 November 2013

Forgive & Forget

I remember once reading a list of quotes from Rock Stars on God. I wish I could share this link, but over the years I've lost it.

However, I do remember one musician saying he didn't believe that Jesus was our Lord & Savior, but he did believe that Jesus was a beautiful philosopher, who lived an admirable life. 

Whether or not I've had my ups and downs with my relationship with Jesus, with wavering beliefs about him, I've always believed in the goodness of his life & message, which heavily promotes grace, love and forgiveness.

"What would Jesus do?"

Though I often viewed those plastic bracelets as a goofy and chintzy franchise, I've never once not loved that phrase, or not wanted to live by it.

We persecuted Jesus, we betray him daily. Yet he forgives us, he loves us, he lived and lives with what seems like an almost foolish open heart, an unconditional graciousness, warmth, and love. One that makes me feel almost sick and anxious at the thought of implementing. 

Yet, I want that. Sincerely.

One of my close friends, Chris, used to listen to my stories of broken hearts throughout college. Telling me, "Christ tells to guard our hearts above all things." Giving me the advice of strength versus vulnerability. And I still hold that idea near to me.

Yet we pick our battles. I believe in second chances. I want to forgive, fully. Yet, it's very hard to do so.

Tyson and I have similar arguments, over and over. I tell him that I forgive him, but instead I bury these things deep inside of me, conveniently recovering them the second they best come to my aid to win an argument.

And truth be told, I have a very hard time both forgiving and forgetting. Small things remind me of painful memories, and I still feel them, too clearly, too vividly.

And I want someone to tell me, and teach me: How to forgive. How to forget. 

How does Jesus do it?

2 comments:

EMILY STAR said...

Mmmm.

Brittany Wren said...

Trins! I miss you, too! We should catch up sometime. My email is brittanyjwren@gmail.com.

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My name is Trina. I put hot sauce on everything.

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